And why we dismiss them in our modern world.

I want to talk to you about some ignored indicators that are demonstrating to you that your life might actually be a little bit off track.

The examples of things like cravings, low energy and your inability to find joy in things.

Delicious sweet donuts or doughtnuts on a special stand at a party or event, dessert, desserts, sugar, treat, sweets
Photographer: Anastasiia Chepinska | Source: Unsplash

I want to talk about why we dismiss them.

When we look at cravings, we look at eating, and we eat because we're hungry.

We also eat because we are addicted to certain foods.

I know that I've worked through a very, very massive sugar addiction myself.

But quite often, when you're eating and when you're eating mindlessly you're eating to fill a void and in particular, an emotional void.

A void, a feeling like you are lacking somewhere else, too.

We eat and obviously when we're eating poorly that does impact our energy.

But you can eat really well and still find that you have low energy.

Which impacts your enthusiasm.

If you are lacking in enthusiasm for what you're doing in your day to day and everything feels like a chore and a challenge and you know you're eating well then you can start to identify a cycle happening.

And low energy does show up not just because we're not eating well.

Now, you might find you have the inability to find joy in things.

Everything feels like hard work, and it’s all push, push, push.

Now, you know, what I find is when I'm working with people, and this isn't a blanket rule, this is just you know, some generalizations here.

Maya’s Drawing
Photographer: Daniel Chekalov | Source: Unsplash

So what does it all mean?

Eating to fill a void and having energy and enthusiasm is low, quite often it's because your priorities are out of whack.

You're prioritizing everybody else's needs what everybody else thinks everybody else believes. Everything external to you is your first priority.

And you are not your own first priority, right? So the inner world is reflected in the outer world.

So if you don't make yourself number one, nobody else is going to.

It's hard to be enthusiastic and finding joy when everything feels like a drag and there's nothing there that is honouring you.

Now there's the big talk about self-care.

But what I noticed for most people, when they first start working with self-care is a moment or it's an action, like once a week thing.

Example: Having a weekly bubble bath.

But only if only if nobody else needs me.

Is that really self-care at its finest?

Sunday Shower Thoughts
Photographer: Karla Alexander | Source: Unsplash

And then there's that inability to find joy.

Self-care really needs to become a lifestyle choice needs to be something that is dedicated has the intention behind it that you become your own priority before you prioritize everybody else, and parents are going to like think I'm crazy, but you need to prioritize yourself over your children.

Because if you're setting an example, so if you're not looking after yourself, your kids going to say, well, mom doesn't look after herself.

We don't need to look after her.

Then you're setting a precedent in a pattern for them.

Now, self-care is not a moment or action hero this self-care needs to become your lifestyle, because and the reason why we dismiss it in this modern world is because we've been taught that there is honour in sacrifice.

If I miss out, if I lack if I don't have enough, and I give everything out to everybody else, I'm demonstrating my love and is honouring that.

We’re taught that you can't just have this go to be struggle to be deserving. You've got to earn it, you've got to be worthy.

And the sun is all of these push energy and it's hard and there's no ease and grace and lightness in any of that.

You don't have to struggle to be worthy.

You can be worthy because you're worthy. Because you're here because you're a child of God, a child of the universe, you are born, you are living you are doing your best, you are automatically worthy.

You don't have to have the struggle or the life of sacrifice. It proves nothing.

Photographer: Priscilla Du Preez | Source: Unsplash

As human beings, we are conditioned to focus on the negative, we have a bias around that, to have like to look for the negative, look for the bad.

It's one of those things that back in the cave days, we had to be very aware and be alert so we didn't get eaten by tigers and bears and monsters and stuff.

We lived in fear of isolation, painful deaths and lack.

But now you don't need to be focused on the negative.

It's going to work better for you to start focusing on the positive.

It probably sounds very light and fluffy to say this but you need to shift your conditioning around the sacrifices, struggle and the negative bias that we have.

I'm tired all the time. It's just because I'm so busy. Yeah, you know what I do a shitty job, you know, like, I'll bury myself in Netflix on the weekend and find some external joy.

These are indicators that are often dismissed as just being life.

And the older we get the more we develop a consequence bias.

Everything gets filtered through the potential for loss. Its no way to live.

Model the millennials. They are action taking, living in the moment, people.

If you're feeling like your life is off track and you are craving food or you’re not eating well, your energy is not good and you're not finding the joy, you're out of alignment.

Self-Care is not an single action here.

You need to turn self-care into lifestyle. You need to make sure you're prioritizing yourself. If you are going to eat, eat mindfully and be aware, am I eating to fill a void?

This also means what you do in your day to day.

Soul sucking job? How can you change that energy?

Average or bad friendships?

Make new friends.

Bored with your relationship?

Make a commitment to spice it up and re-energize it with love.

Or leave it.

Life doesn't have to be this way, you can choose differently.

And if these things are showing up for you, and you are feeling restless and unhappy, you're out of alignment.

Photographer: Priscilla Du Preez | Source: Unsplash

You're not connected into your purpose.

Back in 2016 I was living the life that I thought made me successful. Doing business, a certain way, with a certain topic and being constantly told this was my identity and the only way I would succeed.

But I was dying inside even though I was very good at what I was doing.

I was over eating, sleeping in, staying up late and denying myself the opportunity to do things I loved.

It cost me my health, my relationship and my happiness.

I knew there was a different path for me and it wasn’t until a major shift in energy, focus and friendships did I start to walk the right path.

This path.

The path of showing people they can live happy.

You know, start exploring what is my why and yours could be to successfully raise your children which is awesome to how you showing up for them.

Are you teaching them sacrifice and struggle?

Are you teaching them a whole different way of like, just being where they because you're here and being allowed.

I'm just using parents as an example because that's the first thing that came to my head.

But even for me, like 2018 and 2019, like, I was not in a great place a lot of the time, and one part was because I chose to eat mindlessly.

I wasn't looking after my health, self-care was just this thing that I did every now and then like, Oh, yeah, just I'll go and have a bubble bath.

I was disrespecting myself by staying stressed, overweight and unhappy, so the world was disrespecting me back.

So, the inner is reflected in the adder and vice versa.

So be aware of these indicators, because they are sending you a message.

People ask me how I've lost weight. Some of the things that I do are fasting, I'm a lot more mindful now about my food and I get up every day to exercise at 630 in the morning.

I know I beat the sunrise today. How cool is that?

I do this because self-care is not a single action.

It's a daily lifestyle priority, because it all starts in here.

If your life is feeling a little off track, and these things are showing up for you, they can change.

And I encourage you to be really aware of these thing because you can choose to be happy you can choose to have purpose in your life.

And whatever that purpose is.

You are worthy. You are worthy of your happiness and your joy.

In 2018 I wouldn’t have thought this feeling of vitality, purpose and self-love would be mine and least of all from making my own wellbeing and happiness my priority, yet here we are.

And that's all I really wanted to say.

But I see so much online and I just I know having come out of the other side that this is available for everyone.

This is available for all of us, you all can be happier, more on purpose, live your joy.

I really want you to be aware of what's happening for you, so then you can consciously choose what you desire.

You are worthy, you are loved, you are always supported.

If you know somebody who needs to hear this, feel free to share this with them.

This is me, the author! Australias Happiness Coach

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